MELODY...

Melody...has its own tale to tell
Sometimes, more eloquent than plain speech
Don't just call it a 'sound'
It is more, so much more than 'just' that...

Sometimes, it is boundless like the ocean
Sometimes, tinier than a liquid drop
It is lucid, warm, spontaneous and natural
It is intricate and elusive, possessing elements of its own...

Whatever the origins, the rudiments are all the same
It can turn mellifluous only when properly sequacious
If not, it becomes noisome
A confusion, a disturbance, a clamor...

It is an embayment of so many emotions
Embalmed with all kinds of live human sensitivities
Technically, it might be read as a careful collection of musical notes
But for you and me, it can mean a lot more than that...

Wide-spread are its capacities and capabilities
Though it comes in through one of the many human senses
It embarks right at the center of the tender heart
Making it fall in or out of love...

It can be inspiring, it can be depressing
It can be arousing, it can be demeaning
It can make you tap your feet and join a joyful jig
It can make you slip into a peaceful repose

It can be soothing, it can be galling
It can be stimulating, it can be ebullient
It can be placid, it can be morbid
It can be whimsical, it can be ludicrous

It can be as passionate as a lover's kiss or as affectionate as a mother's caress...
It can be everything if you want it to be
It can be anything you want it to be
It can still be nothing if you do not want it

It can be a live voice or an meretricious instrument
What ever it is, where ever it comes from
Don't just call it a 'sound'
It is more, much more than 'just' that...

AN EMOTIONAL LABYRINTH...

"Only a week from now," I told myself.
Oh my God! It is a week!
Not a day or two!
It is a whole Goddamn week!
Seven days! Seven restless days appended by seven sleepless nights...
"Do all the girls in my situation feel the way?" I wondered.
I wouldn't want to say that I entirely disliked the sudden rush of emotions I had begun to experience these days. I wouldn't even want to say that I liked them.
What I'm going through is a strange mixture of pleasure and displeasure; a combination of fright and tranquility. It is strength and weakness ensembled; enigma and euphoria blended with each other.
Am I nervous? Hell yes! I'm! I'm absolutely nervous! Completely freaked out!
And worse, I started imagining all sorts of absurd things.
Too many questions started ravaging my mind, causing an interminable havoc there.
What if something really terrible happens on that day? What if I trip and fall down in front of him? What if I become unconscious? (and that did seem like a certainty looking at the way I'm going on right now) God! That would surely be a disaster!
What if he doesn't like me? What if he doesn't find me beautiful? What if he thinks I'm ugly? What if he doesn't like the way I talk? What if he thinks I wont make a good wife for him? What if he is already in love with someone else and has agreed to come here due to the persistence of his parents?
What if he doesn't meet my expectations? What if he is a freak? What if he turns out to be some sort of a lunatic? What if...What if...What if...?
What has happened to my adamantly maintained self confidence and the always accompanying rationality and reasoning? Where had they vanished?
My head started spinning and I collapsed into a chair.
I know nothing about him. I know absolutely nothing. Except for his name, which continually keeps ringing in my ears, owing to my noisy family, who now seem to find immense pleasure in teasing me, taking his name again and again (I'd hate to admit it but, I enjoy it too) and his picture, his awfully nice picture that they had shown me only a few days back, the picture I'd been tempted to steal a look at at every possible opportunity, I know nothing about him. I don't even know what his voice sounds like.
Yet, here I'm unable to think of nothing but him, thinking of how marriage with him would be like. Weird huh? Arranged marriage matches do seem a little weird. But that is the beauty in them.
I'd never foreseen the anticipation and nervousness that has now engulfed me completely. I want to 'fast forward' the time and go ahead of the week separating me from that fateful day. At the same time, I don't want to loose all this waiting and the thrilling suspense. And at the same time, I also want to stop the time here, run away from my house, away from the noise, excitement and laughter, away from the charged air and hide somewhere, bury myself somewhere.
I spoke at lenght to my best friends to quieten my racing nerves. It gave me a momentary solace. But nah! No amount of talk, meditation or efforts to distract my mind proved fruitful.
I need something else, something more. I need to clear my mind off things. I need to sit and think. I need to sit and write.
Well, here I'm trying hard to get myself together, penning down and sorting out all my confusion and my irregular, clogged thoughts... trying to clear my emotional labyrinth!!!

WHY??!!

Why does the world look so beautiful?
Why is it suddenly filled with nothing but you?
Why was I destined to meet you?
Why was I meant to fall madly in love with you?

Why does a simple 'good morning' from you make me blush?
Why does the sound of your laughter melt my insides?
Why are my days and nights filled with thoughts about you?
Why cant I just get you out of my system?

Why do I always feel like talking to you?
Why do I always feel like listening to your voice?
Why do I miss you even when I'm with you?
Why cant I just get enough of you?

Why cant I even endure the thought of loosing you?
Why do I want to loose myself in your arms?
Why do I feel like living for you?
Why do I feel like dying for you?

Why is it that I cant be yours?
Why is it that I still love you?
Why does thinking about you hurt so much?
Why do I still feel like reveling in the pain?

Why cant I ever hate you?
Why cant I hate myself for loving you?
Why do I keep asking these questions over and over again?
Yet...why cant I find answers to any?