Your Silent Heart to Mine...

You are a wonder, what goes on in your mind is a puzzle

Deciphering you, for me, was once upon a time a hassle

But now, I know your little secret which gives you away

Your beautiful eyes show everything that you cannot say

I stare into them, right into the depths of your heart

In the silence, I hear them speak to me and they tell me a lot

Your voice fails you, but your eyes never

I notice everything from a hesitant blink to the slightest flutter

When you are angry, they look like tiny balls of fire

In a peaceful time, a silent and comfortable look they acquire

The lashes, dark, long, and lush

Droop onto your eyes, when all you can do is blush

You are elated and I see them smiling with bliss

They pose endless questions when you are confused and find something amiss

Silent tears of pain at the corners show an intense anguish

A funny look your eyes wear, when you feel silly or foolish

Everybody calls you ill-fated

Some evil force had his wicked desire sated

You are not given a voice to speak out loud

But for me, your eyes are the biggest gifts with which you are endowed

The Knight Vs The King...

Not at all different from a girl any other

A firm believer I am, of a cliche, 'The knight in a shining armor'

My eyes, when awake, search for him desperately

When closed, they dream of him endlessly

Of his probing eyes looking deep down into mine, I am aware

Of his cool fingers brushing off from my face, tendrils of hair

Of his warm breath breezing on my cheek, as he holds me close

Of his lips, as he whispers, 'You are as beautiful as a red rose'

How does one find such a man in this world, in reality?

Mind accepts defeat, but the heart rejects any offer of peace or tranquility

'I do' finally accept to belong to a man, but with a half of my heart
Readying myself to embark on a journey, to adapt and to adopt

When asked the dreaded question, 'Is he your knight?'

I wave my hand carelessly and say, 'May be he is, may be not'

'Is he like this? Is he like that?' the cruel questions persist

Raising a minor chaos in the poor heart, which has no one to assist

Days pass and slowly upon me dawns a realization

Reality is a lot different, yet differently more beautiful than any fascination

It may not be all romantic or enchanting or surreal

Yet, it surely is unique, toughening, and most importantly it is REAL

He may not be like the dreamy hero sweeping the heroine off her feet

He may not be all lovey-dovey, proclaiming loudly his love for me to the entire fleet

Yet, he is all that I did not know I actually wanted

As for me, I now try every living moment to be the one he truly warranted

He does not own a shining armor and he surely is not a knight

But, he is a king, my king, who boldly conquered and filled the whole of my heart!!!


Inspired from a real life situation of an anonymous friend...

LEARNING REALITY...

Innocent heart filled with joy

Floats amidst the clouds

Envisages a colourful path ahead

Hopes, Fantasizes, Prays

Ignorant to the reality

Unaware of it's harshness

Two little hands; soft, fragile fingers

Yet bold and confident

Gradually, Prudently

Build block upon block

As the eyes spin

Dream upon dream...

Suddenly, without warning

A torrent breaks

Flooding everything on it's way

Spelling a spate of destruction

Hurling the carefully arranged blocks

In all directions possible

Mercilessly breaking them apart...

The hands, no longer soft

Withered with disappointment and defeat

With the precious dreams shattered

The eyes are filled with tears...

A broken heart filled with sorrow

Gropes in the dark

Tries to gather it's pieces

Cries, Laments, Mourns

Learning Reality

Knowing now, it's harshness...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE?

Someone changes your world just by coming into it
Someone lightens up your day just by giving you a smile
Someone makes you lose yourself with just a tender touch
Someone sets you ablaze with just a light kiss

You think about the 'someone' day and night
You crave to spend your life in the 'someone's' arms
You'd love to lose time looking into the 'someone's' eyes
You'd feel incomplete without the 'someone' beside you

It is a funny thing... this love
It makes you think, it makes you insane
It is a strange thing... this love
It makes you laugh, it makes you cry
It is a weird thing... this love
It makes you sacrifice, it makes you selfish

But...
It is a nice thing... this love
It makes you sigh, it makes you smile
It is a great thing... this love
It makes you want to live, it makes you want to die!!!

MY WORLD...

They say life isn't a colorful fairy tale,
It is so full of dirt and way too pale.
Life is not full of mirth and joy,
It is not very beautiful and doesn't always coy.
But me, I'm always in my own dreamy land,
Where things turn perfect with a touch of my magic wand.
It is a graceful little pompous place,
Where things go on at a soothingly slow pace.
In my world, its always spring filled with flowers,
And I never get tired wandering in it for hours.
In my world, no fights for power or riches are seen,
As there is no place for the greedy and the mean.
Here, millions of people are not lain,
With endless screaming, suffering and pain.
There is no blood shed, no wars waged,
There are no masters, no slaves and no prisoners caged.
Here, there is no need to lie,
Nor is there a need to get sly.
There is no violence, chaos or commotion,
All that is here is unlimited freedom, love and passion!!!

THE REJECTION...

"I'm supposed to reject him," I reminded myself again.
this is not the first time I am rejecting a man's love. In fact, earlier, I had carried off the routine with a handful of men, without any damage- "You are a very nice man. I like you. But, sorry...I am not ready for any sort of commitments right now..." and so on.
But, now, I have this strange feeling that this one is going to be more difficult than the others. Besides the fact that he is my best friend, there is something else- something indefinite, something indefinable that tells me that tonight is not an easy night...
I had been acutely aware of his feelings for me for the past few months, owing to the indications he had been giving me. Somehow, I hadn't taken any of them seriously. Nor did I give them much of a thought as I had assumed that the disaster is a thing of distant future. Unfortunately, it landed very soon- a lot sooner than I had expected.
The meaning was unmistakable and he left me in no doubt regarding his intentions.
"It is about us," he said over the phone in the morning, "meet me tonight."
No sir! commitment is the last thing on my mind, right now... "Sure," I heard myself saying, "I'll be there."
Since then, I could hardly think of anything else. At Lunch too, I could hardly eat anything and now, I'm starved.
"Stop staring at the mirror, you fool," I scolded myself as I brushed my hair again. I had spent more time than usual in front of the mirror, dressing with extreme care.
"I'm supposed to reject him," I said sternly to the mirror. I was satisfied as my voice was apparently firm. But what am I doing all this for? God save me!!!
--------
He sat there quite comfortably and as soon as he saw me, he stood up with courtesy. He was staring at me, admiring and my heart sank. Damn it! I gave him a smile- a real big one. Stop smiling! Just stop it!!
"You... You look beautiful," he said almost inaudibly, taking my arm. Oh no! I blushed! What the hell am I doing?
He isn't taking his eyes off me and the way he looked at me made me feel weak in my knees. I thought they would give away. I hurriedly sank down into the chair before he could pull it for me.
He ordered everything that I liked a lot. He knows so much about me...my favourite food, my favourite movies...my favourite...shut up!!!
I hardly touched anything as I was too nervous to eat.
But why am I nervous? Isn't he supposed to be nervous?
Look at him...he is so calm, so composed.
And look at me...I am acting like a fool.
"Anything wrong?" he said, touching my hand lightly, "you are not eating anything?"
Yes! It is all wrong! I am not supposed to feel this way...Hell! I am supposed to reject you!!! "No...nothing. It is...ah...I am not hungry," I lied, giggling like a stupid school girl.
He looked at me, concerned. "Shall we dance?" he said, apparently trying to make me feel comfortable. I'm not here to dance with you, young man! I am here to reject you! "Sure."
He took my arm once again and this time, his touch did wonders to me. I was lost...loosing control...I was walking on the clouds!
He led me to the dance floor and gently pulled me closer to him, my arms on his shoulders and his on my waist...there I was dancing with the man I am going to reject, feeling things I had never felt before. God! Don't do this to me!
He looked at me, into my eyes and any Little control I still had over myself was now, completely lost. I was hypnotised...by his charm... by his touch...
I wanted to break free and flee. I wanted to blurt out all that I had rehearsed at home, earlier today- that I don't love him! I don't love him? Is that true??? Don't I love him?
Or do I?? I love him??? "I love you!"
It was a totally different voice. I stopped dancing abruptly unable to believe my ears. He stared at me, dumbstruck. Or was he elated? I couldn't place the expression on his face. But all he did was kiss me lightly and say, "I never thought you would say it."
"Neither did I," I whispered, smiling, as my heart sang happily the new song it had learnt only a few seconds earlier...I love him...I love him...
He kissed me again, this time with passion...setting my heart soaring in the skies... I rested my head on his chest as he drew me closer and there we were...silently dancing the night away!! Just the two of us...oblivious to the world surrounding us!!!!!!!!

THE ENDLESS STORY OF EVERY NIGHT...

"Let me give it another try," I told myself, as i closed my eyes again. I lay still for a moment. "Damn it!" I cursed under my breath and got up. I sat there on the soft bed mumbling something, staring blankly at the clock in front of me.
"Will I ever be able to sleep?" I thought despairingly. And the next moment, 'his' thoughts came back flooding rapidly. They stung me in the head. Yet, an involuntary smile came upon my lips. I sat there at the middle of the night smiling like a fool!!!
What is it in him that makes me do all this? What is it in him that keeps him in my thoughts always, every second, day and night?? I know... his eyes... so deep, so blue... constantly looking at me straight in the eye. No, no... I think it is his voice, his soft, velvety voice- so smooth and soothing. Or may be his arms- so strong, yet so gentle- that hold me close to him, so close that I can hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat that carries me into his world. A tear trickled down and rolled over my cheek. "Oh God! I miss him like hell," I said aloud as I got down the bed and switched on the light for the hundredth time that night. I walked as if in trance and stopped in front of the full-length mirror. I stared at the already tear-strained face, the dark hair and black eyes. Addressinghe mirror, I said aloud, "You are so lucky. He loves you." I giggled like a school girl. smiling, I switched off the light a hundred and oneth time that night, climbed onto my bed and lay back, making a yet another vain attempt to get some sleep....