But, I still cant help asking myself, "What is wrong with me? I know he doesn't love me. Then, why? Why? Why?" My inner voice screams aloud at me, within me...
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" my friends said, worried.
"Honey! Don't you realize that you are hurting yourself?" my parents warned.
"Tell you what...You are crazy, completely out of your mind," others ridiculed.
"I think you deserve someone better," my best friend said trying to talk me out of what she called was 'foolishness'.
I know she doesn't understand when I say that I don't want anyone better. It is him I want! Him!! Only him!!! Not anyone else.
And what is worse!? I am manipulating myself with a blind, senseless hope; kindlessly, slowly putting the real 'me' to a long sleep, finally killing it, slowly so slowly that I was unaware of what I was doing.
"I don't like long nails," I heard him remark once and now, i find myself very often running around the house in search of a nail cutter.
"I get attracted to girls with long hair," he said and my hair which never crossed the shoulders earlier is now, as long as a horse's tail.
I am being senseless...
I am being crazy...
I am being mad...
Still, I enjoy this insanity, this intoxication. I know he doesn't love me. Well then, am I so desperate? I don't know. All I know is that I am madly in love with him-selfless, unconditional and pure...
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