The moment I took him in my arms, the wailing stopped. It was replaced by a soft mumbling. He seemed to feel at home. The wrinkles on his face gradually softened, the frown between his eyebrows unknotted and his features registered a look of peace. He looked happy and at peace with the world. Tears ran down my cheeks as I realized that he actually knew the feel of my touch. He moved his tiny limbs feebly, unlike his earlier frail attempts to kick them frantically in the air. I didn't even know how long I'd held him. I watched on as the world's most beautiful thing fell asleep in his mother's loving arms. Right then, I knew that he is the most important thing in my whole life and the best thing that had happened to me.
We were together almost all the time. My thoughts, my world, my everything spiralled down, centered around him. I spoke with him, even though people reminded me, "he is a little baby. He wouldn't understand a thing." I paid them a deaf ear. "My son is far more intelligent than they know. He understands everything I say," was my stubborn notion. I played all sorts of silly games with him. I had spent every waking moment with him, marvelling at him, thinking what I'd done to deserve this wonderful gift. And when I slept, I had him beside me, held on to him, afraid to part with him even for the fraction of a second.
His first word was 'ma', like I'd always known and imagined and my dear little boy didn't disappoint me. The sound was like music to my ears, the sweetest thing I'd ever heard till date. I could not stop crying the whole day.
He took his first step and I clapped and jumped, pride filling my heart.
He curled his tiny fingers around mine when he slept and I thought, "I'm his saviour."
He fell down, got hurt and I felt a piercing pain that seemed to tear my heart apart.
He cried if he didn't find me beside him when he woke up and I felt happy that he missed me.
He went off to school and I missed him terribly.
He brought home an ailing puppy one day and nursed it back to health and I was moved at his kindness.
He brought home a trophy another day and I was proud of his achievement.
And then...
He brought home a couple to his buddies and I knew his horizon was expanding.
He never seemed to be alone, and I understood that there are other people in his life now.
I dutifully packed his lunch boxes. which were mostly returned uneaten and I struggled to make tastier food for him.
I quietly looked on as he drove away to parties with his friends.
I craved for his company as he hardly stayed at home now.
My heart leapt with joy when he occasionally smiled at me or when he gave me a peck on my cheek.
I wished I could be like one of his friends, and I could have some of his time. I tried to bridge the generation gap between us.
And one fine day...
He brought home a beautiful girl said, "Ma, I'm in love. I want to marry her." I looked at his innocent face and suddenly realised how quickly time has passed, how big my boy has grown. This was bound to happen and I knew it. I had always wanted it to happen. Yet, it wasn't altogether clear to me if I was happy or sad.
I was overwhelmed that he would now be a man, have a family, a wife, kids and all. Yet, the thought that another woman became a lot more important for him made a lump form in my throat. Does he still love me? I fought back tears- I wasn't sure if they were happy tears and plastered a smile across my face to show my assent, lest he would become upset with me. I felt silly, like a stupid little girl.
Joy twinkled in his eyes as he came closer to me and gave a peck on my cheek, whispered in my ear, "I love you ma. You know you are the best!" He looked at me, gratitude in his eyes. Of course, my approval does matter to him. He does love me, my dear boy!!! The best son anyone could ever have!!!
I smiled and this time, I'm smiling with pure bliss!!!
Inspired from one of the most loving mothers I had ever seen (my mother-in-law)
